Soul searching. Still, you ask? Yes. It's probably exhausting watching me find my place in the world but I hope I never stop searching and I like to think I'm creating value along the way :-).
Admittedly, writing is something I love yet something I never do. Here I am again on a year-long hiatus from posting and a year-long hiatus from writing anything other than work emails. I bought a five-year happiness journal in which you write one sentence per day (ONE sentence!) and there are month gaps between entries. I have two young children, a relationship, a full-time job, a dog, and a billion other things going on so I've learned to give myself permission to connect sporadically to any one of my many passions.
But, the urge to get lost in my own thoughts has become stronger over the last year. Possibly because I don't get the chance to think while my mind is sorting out which of the four voices (the dog's included) I should be listening to when Flipper has dumped his milk on the floor and Thumper is heartbroken that Flipper has his really 'special' plastic egg, and Pancho is yelling for a rag while giving the 1-2-3 ultimatum to Flipper who is not responding to our time-out strategy and Bambi is high-pitch howling along to the cries of the children.
Since I 'transitioned' out of the Foreign Service (more on this in the next post...I swear I'm going to write more regularly!) four months ago, I find myself sharing my story with people from my past who, in what feels like droves, are asking my thoughts or advice. I've kept journals since my first year of college (online, traditional, hotel notepads, loose line-ruled paper, sticky notes, and the margins of my calendar) and have thought a lot about turning it all into something. Fiction, non-fiction, motivational, sci-fi, I have no idea but in the era of ebooks and self-publishing, it seems like the right time to do a 'must' rather than a 'should'. It's funny that I feel this drive to pursue passion when I've just joined the #1 company to work for, one that is known for attracting passionate people and encouraging growth and innovation. Maybe I'm finally in a spot where I'm giving myself permission to pursue my passions at any rate that I like while also feeling supported by my employer to be myself and follow my heart. That seems like a recipe for something but I'm not sure what it is yet :-)
For now, my 'self' time is over and I'm off to satisfy another part of my soul playing tic-tac-toe with Thumper. With a lot less time set aside to address the complexities of expat life as a government employee, you can expect to hear more from me!
Because I love country music, and Tim McGraw, and part of my soul-searching includes day-dreaming about owning a house in the Texas countryside, this is fitting...
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years
Admittedly, writing is something I love yet something I never do. Here I am again on a year-long hiatus from posting and a year-long hiatus from writing anything other than work emails. I bought a five-year happiness journal in which you write one sentence per day (ONE sentence!) and there are month gaps between entries. I have two young children, a relationship, a full-time job, a dog, and a billion other things going on so I've learned to give myself permission to connect sporadically to any one of my many passions.
But, the urge to get lost in my own thoughts has become stronger over the last year. Possibly because I don't get the chance to think while my mind is sorting out which of the four voices (the dog's included) I should be listening to when Flipper has dumped his milk on the floor and Thumper is heartbroken that Flipper has his really 'special' plastic egg, and Pancho is yelling for a rag while giving the 1-2-3 ultimatum to Flipper who is not responding to our time-out strategy and Bambi is high-pitch howling along to the cries of the children.
Since I 'transitioned' out of the Foreign Service (more on this in the next post...I swear I'm going to write more regularly!) four months ago, I find myself sharing my story with people from my past who, in what feels like droves, are asking my thoughts or advice. I've kept journals since my first year of college (online, traditional, hotel notepads, loose line-ruled paper, sticky notes, and the margins of my calendar) and have thought a lot about turning it all into something. Fiction, non-fiction, motivational, sci-fi, I have no idea but in the era of ebooks and self-publishing, it seems like the right time to do a 'must' rather than a 'should'. It's funny that I feel this drive to pursue passion when I've just joined the #1 company to work for, one that is known for attracting passionate people and encouraging growth and innovation. Maybe I'm finally in a spot where I'm giving myself permission to pursue my passions at any rate that I like while also feeling supported by my employer to be myself and follow my heart. That seems like a recipe for something but I'm not sure what it is yet :-)
For now, my 'self' time is over and I'm off to satisfy another part of my soul playing tic-tac-toe with Thumper. With a lot less time set aside to address the complexities of expat life as a government employee, you can expect to hear more from me!
Because I love country music, and Tim McGraw, and part of my soul-searching includes day-dreaming about owning a house in the Texas countryside, this is fitting...
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years
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