Distracted Musings

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

It feels like I've been living my own custom-made mid-life crisis for a few years now (I'm sure some of you have an exaggerated nod going on right now).

I want a slower life in the country
I want the opportunities and culture afforded by the city
I want to travel the world
I want to do my own thing
I want to be an author
I want to have global impact...impact TBD
I want to be a public servant and change policy...like, I want to be Secretary of State
I want to innovate in the private sector
I want my own business
I don't actually like change all that much and want stability
I want to live in the mountains, in the desert, by the ocean, and near an international airport
I want to buy a house
I'm scared to plant roots
I want to be a movie star

...okay, snuck that last one in there to see if you were paying attention.

Two things.  What would I do if I weren't afraid, and, how can I relegate all of these wants to some future realm and just enjoy the present?  The grass is always greener on the other side--been there done that, don't want to focus there.  Enjoy the now and pick a 'future' apple off the tree, on my own terms.  I can do everything on that list if I want, life is not an all-or-nothing choice, and with my newfound private sector freedom, I'm going to enjoy each moment I have to think about what I want--even when it makes me feel lost.
    
I've made an intentional effort to take time for introspection (an hour per week actually slotted on my calendar), but recently, after each week I have more questions and fewer answers.  Maybe that means I'm on the right track.  Like once you start to feel the cascade of questions you're finally making progress?  The good news (maybe) is that Pancho is on the same page.  I guess it's not always good because I lose my sanity check but it's fantastic because we have the most beautiful, deep, conversations late at night that lead to crazy ideas and incremental steps toward greatness.

I need to create and be creative.  I'm writing a novel, selling my photography, designing greeting cards, and licensing my pictures to other greeting card companies.  I'm owning projects at work that benefit the greater organization and challenge me in wonderfully intellectual ways.  I'm picking back up on a business plan for an invention I dropped last year and writing a draft business plan for a new idea.  This focus (although totally scattered) has has been hugely impactful on my spirit after leaving government.  Creativity fuels my soul and makes me happy.  Tired sometimes, but happy.

I've also re-connected with a few old friends this month and I found myself revitalized, inspired, and so badly missing all the feelings of stability...you know, where you stay in one spot long enough to make friends and create community.  It left me feeling nostalgic, and really just sad about the leave of absence from 'normal' life our family has taken.  I wouldn't trade our experiences for the world but there are definitely realities that have become apparent now that we're back.

It feels like the rest of the world went on without us and we're fighting our way back in.  But with that, we're having to reestablish old relationships.  Ones that were once so strong.  Because years have passed, families have grown, relationships have started and ended, lives and people have changed.  And for the last five years, we've been on the outside looking in.  It's hard to keep in touch when you don't live in the same place and it's even harder when you leave the country.  We finally resigned to the fact that we would miss out.  People wouldn't think to call us and wouldn't take the time to keep us involved in the intricacies of their lives when we called to chat.  We wouldn't be able to visit and eventually, would call less often for the same reasons--it's hard to keep people involved when the distance grows so wide.  Our love for our friends and family never changed, but our level of involvement did.

So now it feels like we're starting over.  In different ways, many of which I didn't expect.  I'm starting over at work as I navigate a new sector, a new industry, and a job I've never done before with new co-workers and a totally different organizational philosophy.  We're starting over building our community, helping our children make friends, living in the U.S. with young kids, and trying to reconnect with friends and family whose lives have gone on while we were absent.  Pancho and I are both starting over with this new level of freedom afforded by simply living in America without government control of every aspect of our life--this one is perhaps the most exiting 'start over' and what we spend our late night discussions playing with.

It's been seven months since we moved to California and I feel on the edge of greatness.  There are so many routes we could take to include simply relishing what we have, what we are, and where we've come.  We have the time and space to ask all these questions and no pressure to do anything unless it's on our terms.  Which means we can patiently wait for the answers to come and soak up each ounce of 'the now'.

Old friends, you'll hear more from us.  New friends, you'll see more of us.  Family, keep riding our dream train--you'll see more direction from us and probably hear more from us too :-)

A Gracious Memorial Day

I woke up to snuggles from my babies, sunshine peeking through the window casting light on their little faces in a way that made me take a slower breath to experience the moment longer.  I got up, put on a sweatshirt and sunglasses, and drove to Starbucks while Pancho started breakfast for the kids.  I drove with the windows down, it was already 60 degrees at 9am.  Memorial Day patriotism filled the car and I sang my little country heart out while I waited in line for my double shot of espresso over ice.  I pulled out of the driveway, took a sip, and breathed in another slow breath.  I was consciously aware of how happy I felt.  I have so much in life to be grateful for and I felt it so deeply this morning.

I was on my way home when I heard a siren. All the lights turned red as the noise got closer.  Cars already in the intersection quickly pulled through and slowed to a stop in a neat line by the curb.  Everything was still as a bright red fire truck sped through, lights flashing, siren blaring.  I felt the tears start.  They well up every time I see a fire truck.  I know, it's weird.

It wasn't until we moved back from India that this started.  My emotions are complex (I'm sure you're smiling and nodding if you know me).  We really didn't live in India that long and I haven't traveled that much relative to the size of the world.  The places I haven't been far out number the places I have yet my awareness of my privilege is significant.

Today it was the siren, the truck, the way the cars pulled over, the understanding look drivers flashed as they move aside, the country music, and the overwhelming gratitude I felt before I even arrived at that intersection this Memorial Day morning.

We have a system in America by which anyone can call 9-1-1 and something will happen.  Someone will come.  Not only will someone come but the people who come have been trained to save your life, to save your home, to rescue whomever or whatever needs rescuing.  When they come, they have trucks with equipment and unexpired medicine they know how to use.  Cars pull over when they hear sirens.  Even on packed freeways, cars inch their way to the edge to make room for emergency personnel to pass.  It's not like this everywhere.

In India, they are short on paramedics.  You can call the equivalent of 9-1-1 but you're better off driving yourself or jumping in a rickshaw.  The ambulance will eventually come but there is no guarantee the people inside know anything about medicine.  Depending on traffic it could take hours to get to you and hours to then get you to a hospital--no one pulls over when they hear those sirens and they'll honk back, annoyed, when the emergency vehicle violates the rules of the road.

There are no fire hydrants.  If there is a fire, a water truck will eventually come but hopefully you kept the fire at bay with your bucket of sand that sits in place of an extinguisher.  Maybe your neighbors brought their buckets to help you.  Maybe you live in the slums and that fire spread so quickly it destroyed yours, and 500 of your neighbors homes in a matter of an hour.

As a parent of a then 2-year old, I couldn't imagine the helplessness felt by parents who relied on that system to help when their baby was hurt.  Parents who likely didn't know that it could be different.  I've been fortunate to experience both worlds and I know that.  America is not perfect and there are underserved regions of our country that experience our system differently.  But, the difference between having a system and not is stark and I am grateful every moment for the systems we have in America.  Even the ones that still need work.  Because we also have a system for fixing systems.

So, when I hear the sirens and see the truck, a rush of emotions come.  And they're complex but the crux is the gratitude I have for every second I enjoy the benefits of life in my home country--benefits of systems as simple as firetrucks and paramedics.  Having these thoughts today brought some extra tears as I thought more deeply of all the Americans who have lost their lives in pursuit of our country's safety and freedom.  The men and women who have sacrificed so I can count on that ambulance to come, to bring a paramedic, and to take my children to a clean emergency room.

I'm not looking to analyze the benefits or shortcomings of our system (not in this post at least), rather only to recognize the difference between having a system and not.  And, the cost of creating and protecting that system.  Thank you to those who never came home, who died in service to give me the very things that make my tears well up each time I hear those sirens.

My husband, family members, and dear friends served our country...and they came home.  Today, my heart remembers those who didn't and I wish nothing more than for them, and their families, to know how much gratitude I feel for their contributions to this world.

Courage Momentum

Today was a travel day for me (Legs) as I hopped on my first flight since leaving the Foreign Service.  Where to?  Ann Arbor, Michigan!  Yes, it's not as exotic as the places we've been in the last four years but I've never been to MI so check another state off the list :-)

I spent most of today reading my friend Stephanie Diamond's book Mountains Never Meet and was inspired to do some creative fulfillment of my own.  Stay tuned for a full review of her novel as I seriously can't put it down and am moved on many different levels--I even called Pancho to tell him all about it.  I'm also crowd sourcing the best way to do Mt. Kilimanjaro and told Pancho that he and I will have that adventure someday (you seriously have to read the book...)!

Reading Stephanie's book today helped give me the courage to get some of my own work out there.  I've been playing around with istockphoto and have been approved to contribute my photography (their website is really buggy and currently you can't see any of my submissions) and just today I submitted photos to three different greeting card companies to see if I can get any traction.  At some point I'll probably have to create a formal website or get better at categorizing my flickr account.  One step at a time.  You just have to show up, right?  I'm continuing to write when I have the chance and have become more strategic about outlining my story and setting goals.  I'll tell you when I can quit my day job ;-)

Hello from the air and happy creativity to you all!

Daydreams

I took the boys on a road trip this weekend so Pancho could have some time to do homework (like actual time to think without orangutans hollering in the background). My mom and I used to go on spontaneous road trips and there's just something about driving through country without a destination. I had a rough idea of where I wanted to go (East and not on freeways) and since it's 2016 and we live in Silicon Valley--I used GPS.

We had a blast! I learned that we live only 30 minutes from a valley of vineyards and I better take Pancho on a date soon! We wound through bright green hills on a two-lane road far from the freeway, the country music driving us forward (okay I was the only one singing). Flipper and Thumper played with each other while looking for trains and animals between patches of wildflowers.

We stopped at the first Mc.Donald's we saw once we were out of the hills and Thumper said, "Mom, I know this is a chicken nugget, but is there any chicken in it?" So perceptive, that one :-).

Onward to the strategically selected hotel with an indoor swimming pool. We settled in, played in the pool, went out for dinner, and watched cartoons in bed. The next morning, we cuddled in the giant king-size hotel bed, I enjoyed my coffee, we had breakfast and got back on the road to come home. Back to the city. I have to say, I really didn't want to come home. I wanted to see Pancho, of course, but there are times I just don't want to go back to real life.

As soon as I leave the city I feel this instant release, like I've just come 'home'. I enjoy it for as long as I can before I start daydreaming about what life would be like. What if we lived here? What would we do for work? I always wanted to own a farm...or a vineyard. Would the kids like it? What would they miss from city life? What's stopping us? I even start looking at houses online and check out the quality of schools in different neighborhoods. The time always feels too short and back to the city we go. But then, as soon as we hit the edges of the city, I get excited about the work I'm doing and the potential to have far-reaching, international impact in a way I don't think I could have otherwise. So my thoughts shift to scheming how far out we could live while having our feet in both worlds. Would I spend all my time commuting? Would I ever get to enjoy the 'slow' life if I continue to work in the 'fast' lane? The desire to get off the proverbial 'treadmill' is very strong for me right now but I can't separate these feelings from general feelings of wanting to retire and pursue my hobbies in the countryside after I've left my mark on the world...note that the desire to leave my mark is still there so perhaps I've got to nail that one down first.

Question of the year: what sort of impact do I want to have on the world? It's funny, as a university recruiter, candidates ask me all the time what advice I have for them as they start their careers. The advice I give is the advice I am still trying to internalize. Narrow your interests, pick three general categories (know that they can and will change). Next, identify what sort of impact you want to have on the world. Make sure that each step you take drives you toward making that impact in one of the three areas. Three is arbitrary but I can tell you from personal experience, you have to narrow if you ever want to achieve a meaningful level of impact.

I still haven't defined my impact or narrowed my interests BUT I am taking steps to do both--each Friday I have set aside one hour of introspection time so you can expect much more strategic direction from me this year :-).

These last few weeks I've been daydreaming of life as an author, living in the country, raising my boys, taking them to all of their after school activities, and selling my photography online. At other times, I want to be a political appointee and bring change to federal agencies. I think about going to law school and practicing immigration law, getting an MBA and shifting into business operations at my current company, consulting big companies on people operations and unconscious bias, finding my place in advocacy through organizations that are important to me like LeanIn.org or the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media. I even have moments of crazy when I want to learn to code and become an engineer.

Patience has never been my virtue, at least that's one thing I know to be true about myself. Writing is helpful, sometimes just putting my thoughts out there helps them leave my mind and frees up more space to focus...and narrow.

I tend to relate emotions to songs (if you haven't noticed) so, here are two songs that defined my weekend.

Natasha Bedingfield, "Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten


Florida-Georgia Line, "Dirt"

You get your hands in it, plant your roots in it
Dusty head lights dance with your boots in it
You write her name on it, spin your tires on it
Build your corn field, whiskey bonfires on it
You bet your life on it

It's that elm shade, red rust clay you grew up on
That plowed up ground that your dad damned his luck on
That postgame party field you circle up on
And when it rains you get stuck on
Drift a cloud back behind county roads that you run up
The mud on her jeans that she peeled off and hung up
Her blue eyed summertime smile looks so good that it hurts
Makes you wanna build a ten percent down white picket fence house on this dirt

You've mixed some sweat with it, taken a shovel to it
You've stuck some crosses and some painted goal posts through it
You know you came from it
And someday you'll return to it...

My Next 30 Years

Soul searching.  Still, you ask?  Yes.  It's probably exhausting watching me find my place in the world but I hope I never stop searching and I like to think I'm creating value along the way :-).

Admittedly, writing is something I love yet something I never do.  Here I am again on a year-long hiatus from posting and a year-long hiatus from writing anything other than work emails.  I bought a five-year happiness journal in which you write one sentence per day (ONE sentence!) and there are month gaps between entries.  I have two young children, a relationship, a full-time job, a dog, and a billion other things going on so I've learned to give myself permission to connect sporadically to any one of my many passions.

But, the urge to get lost in my own thoughts has become stronger over the last year.  Possibly because I don't get the chance to think while my mind is sorting out which of the four voices (the dog's included) I should be listening to when Flipper has dumped his milk on the floor and Thumper is heartbroken that Flipper has his really 'special' plastic egg, and Pancho is yelling for a rag while giving the 1-2-3 ultimatum to Flipper who is not responding to our time-out strategy and Bambi is high-pitch howling along to the cries of the children.

Since I 'transitioned' out of the Foreign Service (more on this in the next post...I swear I'm going to write more regularly!) four months ago, I find myself sharing my story with people from my past who, in what feels like droves, are asking my thoughts or advice.  I've kept journals since my first year of college (online, traditional, hotel notepads, loose line-ruled paper, sticky notes, and the margins of my calendar) and have thought a lot about turning it all into something.  Fiction, non-fiction, motivational, sci-fi, I have no idea but in the era of ebooks and self-publishing, it seems like the right time to do a 'must' rather than a 'should'.  It's funny that I feel this drive to pursue passion when I've just joined the #1 company to work for, one that is known for attracting passionate people and encouraging growth and innovation.  Maybe I'm finally in a spot where I'm giving myself permission to pursue my passions at any rate that I like while also feeling supported by my employer to be myself and follow my heart.  That seems like a recipe for something but I'm not sure what it is yet :-)

For now, my 'self' time is over and I'm off to satisfy another part of my soul playing tic-tac-toe with Thumper.  With a lot less time set aside to address the complexities of expat life as a government employee, you can expect to hear more from me!

Because I love country music, and Tim McGraw, and part of my soul-searching includes day-dreaming about owning a house in the Texas countryside, this is fitting...

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Griswold Family Vacation--In other words: too much misadventure with a happy ending

It's been a year and a half since we returned from India and drove across the country while I (Legs) was six months pregnant and I have to say, our little family hasn't really been interested in spending much time in transit since then.  But, we decided to get back on the horse (literally) and take a trip in our own neck of the woods (it's relative) to experience the good old outdoors and soak up some sun.

Day One

We arrived at the Seattle airport and were told we booked four seats instead of three (Flipper is under two years old so is usually considered a lap baby with no seat cost) but (oh by the way no refunds) the aircraft changed and your four seats are all in different rows, talk to the people at the gate to fix it.

We are trusted travelers through the TSA pre-check program so we proceeded to security and were pulled into another line since we were a family...not the pre-check line.  The TSA agent swabbed our hands and Pancho alarmed for explosives (???).  He was separated and whisked away while me and the boys proceeded through security, removing everything we wouldn't need to remove had we been in the pre-check line.  The boys and I (worried of course) found Pancho, who was being felt all up and down, and listened as the TSA agent lectured him on going through the wrong line...because had we been in the pre-check line they wouldn't have tested his hands.  We never figured out what caused the problem and were freed to catch our flight.

At the gate.  The Alaska Air staff tried passenger after passenger on a fully booked flight asking if people would shift around so we could sit together.  We ended up getting three seats in a row and one somewhere else...so we sat with the lap baby even though we paid for four seats (mistakenly). 

Smooth flight, smooth rental car experience, beautiful San Jose sunshine, and we started our drive to the horse farm in Pescadero.  Flipper got my genes and got car sick.  Throw up in the rental car and all over the rented car seats.

Everyone back on track and we arrived at the farm.  It's a farm, we know that, it's a working farm, fine.  But it definitely lacked a clean up before paying guests arrived.  And the clown jack-in-the-box next to the giant horse leg in the shadow box window to the barn was a little creepy.  

Day Two

We explored the farm and headed to the beach!  Unlike San Jose, it was cold and rainy on the coast so the boys built a driftwood shelter and learned hard lessons after throwing sand in the air when the wind is blowing toward you.  Later in the day Thumper found a marshmallow gun (that shoots marshmallows) and decided to taste the rotten marshmallow that was stuck inside surrounded by black mold.  We thought we nipped that one in the bud with a stern warning about getting sick but later found him doing it again.

Day Three

Golden Gate Bridge

Streets of San Francisco

No trip to the Bay area is complete without a trip to San Francisco so we got up early and drove an hour North to experience the big city.  How strange, Thumper felt sick from the minute he got up.  He started to develop a fever.  We drove to San Francisco, walked to the beach at the South side of the Golden Gate Bridge, took a few pictures, and got back in the car to go home.  Back on the road and now it's Thumper's turn to christen the rented car seat in the rented car.  We made it back to BBQ for dinner with family who lives in the area and just before they arrived, Thumper threw up again and had a 103F fever.  

Day Four

We planned to meet our family for coffee and a trip to a nearby kids farm.  First thing in the morning while changing Flipper's diaper, I found a deer tick feeding off his skin in the folds of his leg.  Totally. Freaked. Out.  Thankfully, Pancho packed a first aid kit with tweezers and alcohol (swabs :-)) and thankfully my mother in-law is a nurse.  Only 27 more days until I can stop worrying about Lyme Disease.  We packed up everything and booked a hotel in Santa Clara.  We headed into town for coffee because really, it had been a long and not very relaxing trip so far.  Waiting for our coffee, I noticed movement in Flipper's hair.  A flea scurried across his scalp.  We headed to the kids farm and had a blast, knowing that we were headed to a clean hotel room at the end of the day.

Pozole, Horchata, Strawberry Water

Hotel in Santa Clara

We left Half Moon Bay and crossed the mountains into amazing weather, palm trees galore, and sun, sun sun!  The hotel room wasn't ready when we arrived so we headed to a nearby park that was FILLED with families having fun.  Minutes after we started to play, Thumper had a new friend and Flipper bolted off to drink out of someone else's red Solo cup.  I chased after him and found myself chatting with Gustavo, who was there with around 25 members of his family celebrating a baptism.  He offered to get Flipper his own cup of Horchata and came back with some strawberry water too.  Not five minutes later but he was back offering us some of their food.  He took me over to their picnic bench and handed me a bowl.  He filled my bowl with each ingredient, one at a time, of the best soup I've ever had: pozole. Gustavo filled a bowl for Pancho at the same time and heaped on the salsa!  We returned to our grass and enjoyed the heck out of that soup while the kids played.  We met another couple there with their grandchildren who were nice as could be.  About a half our later, Gustavo was back with cake!  And that was it, we were sold, Santa Clara was our favorite city of the trip and part of our daydreams for the future.

Day Five

Capybara

Lemurs

We visited another zoo and kids park in San Jose.  The weather was incredible.  I cried when both boys rode a ride alone together and Thumper went on his first roller coaster with Pancho.  We found a taqueria with amazing everything and enjoyed being able to drink the water at the hotel.  Later in the day we took a long drive from San Jose to Menlo Park through Sunnyvale, Mountain View, and Palo Alto to see what Silicon Valley is all about.  It was very cool.

Day Six

Back to Vancouver and back to work tomorrow!

It was a rough start to what ended up being a wonderful trip.  Sometimes you have to stick it out and sometimes you just have to throw in the towel and do something different.  This was one of those times we just needed to do something different and we were happy we did!  As Pancho said, sometimes you just have to leave the horse farm.  This was actually a particularly insightful revelation for us as a family right now.  We came back totally energized and excited for what the next year has to offer.  Our last summer in Vancouver begins!

The Giant Octopus in the Room

As usual, I took a break from all things creative because I work full-time and created two small humans who require most of my other time.  And, as previously mentioned, I'm slowly getting back small bits of 'creative' time (read: time not spent cleaning up poop, throwing away poop, or discouraging someone from eating poop).  True to our family style, I exhibit the 'go big or go home' tendency often.  This round hit me about a month or two ago, and a light bulb went off one day while I was feeling frustrated with and about time.  The giant octopus in the room was that being creative and having time to myself makes me happy and fun.  No one wants to tell you that you aren't fun, and I don't think that anyone but me really noticed, but at least in the room that is my thoughts, the giant octopus was the obvious fact that more fun has been necessary for a while.  Not family fun, I love spending time with our rag-tag bunch, but self-fun.

So I started doing fun things.  I bought a 3D printer (!!!YES!!), started substituting TED talks for the morning news a few days out of the week, began blogging again, started a new blog (not for public consumption yet), am still working on my book (it's actually in a Word document now), got all my photography up to date on Flickr (a few photos have been used under Creative Commons license on other websites), booked a family vacation at a horse farm, started getting more massages, started running again, and let the house be dirty, the laundry unfolded, the to-do list unfinished...because guess what?  Sometimes you just need to have FUN!

What do you do that is fun for YOU?  

Also, next time I will write in more detail about some of these fun things.  For now, this is all I could muster with the few minutes of energy I have left after Thumper and Flipper have gone to bed and the house is quiet.    

(Belated posting of 2014 entry) Just Another Day in Paradise--A Weekend of Nothing

After just posting about our new found alone time, I realized I never finished this post from last year as I was *interrupted* so forgive the abrupt ending.  Perhaps this demonstrates the difference a year makes as a parent of small beings.  I like to think this phase has passed.  I hope this brings a smile to your face!

Spring 2014: I don't have all that much to post about since we haven't done anything really exciting in the last few months but I am happy to report that life continues to be wonderful for Pancho, Legs, Thumper, Flipper, and Bambi.

Phil Vasser has some good ol' country lyrics that speak to me today :-)

"Just Another Day In Paradise"

The kids screaming, phone ringing

Dog barking at the mailman bringing

That stack of bills - overdue

Good morning baby, how are you?

Got a half hour, quick shower

Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour

My funny face makes you laugh

Twist the top on and I put it back

There goes the washing machine

Baby, don't kick it.

I promise I'll fix it

Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok. It's so nice

It's just another day in paradise

Well, there's no place that

I'd rather be

Well, it's two hearts

And one dream

I wouldn't trade it for anything

And I ask the lord every night

For just another day in paradise

Life with two kids and a dog sure is busy!  Even when we don't do anything it's busy!  Maybe this post will make you smile and reflect on the moments of silence in your own life, maybe it will help you understand just how much coffee you should probably have on-hand if we show up to visit :-)

Something is Shifting

Well here we are nearly one year later!  It seems that Pancho and I are having larger and larger bits of time to ourselves to pursue whatever we want.  Now, *larger* is relative.  Sometimes it's as big as fifteen minutes!  The universe is shifting or something big is happening which is contributing to a reawakening for the both of us.  Or, Flipper and Thumper are just growing up and Pancho and I (Legs) are getting in touch with our non-parent selves.

Over the past two months I have been a sponge for anything cool and interesting in the tech world.  I'm reading Fabricated about the prospects of 3D printing, sneaking in TED talks when I have the time, and pouring over articles discussing free expression online juxtaposed with national security and different realms of legality (i.e. should social media sites remove terrorism related content, who defines a terrorist group, should controversial content be removed at the request of a foreign government like "Daughters of India"?).  Every time I start my fifteen minutes of free time I go down the rabbit hole and pop my head up at the end to shout out to Pancho (who is down in his own rabbit hole creating an ap among other cool things), "Do you know they are 3D printing body parts out of human cells?  What did I do today?  I didn't build a new ear, I will tell you that!"

I am also writing my book.  The one I've been talking about writing for just about as long as I've been keeping journal entries about which I plan to write.  But one of these days, our fifteen minutes will turn in to thirty minutes and our creative spirits will soar!

My time is about up as Flipper is yelling "OUT!!" which means his nap is over and it's time get out my referee whistle and run laps around the house breaking up fights and picking up the same things over and over again until dinner.

In summary of the last year: we are still in Vancouver, we still love it here, we do not know where we are going next, and we won't find out until the fall.  Spring is here and we are enjoying the outdoors and our little family.  Until next time...

Best Reese's Pieces Cookies. Ever.

I experimented with my regular chocolate chip cookie recipe yesterday and made the best ever Reese's Pieces cookies!  I have my own recipe for the best ever chocolate chip cookies and basically just substituted Reese's Pieces for the chocolate chips so feel free to try both ways!

Ingredients:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup ground flax seed
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (sometimes I do up to 2 teaspoons, depends on how you like it!)
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups Reese's Pieces or chocolate chips (I vary this as well, usually 1/2-3/4 a bag)

COMBINE  white and whole wheat flour,  flax seed, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in a large bowl until creamy. Add eggs and beat.  Gradually mix in flour mixture. Stir in Reese's Pieces or chocolate chips. Drop by rounded tablespoon (or any size spoon you like) onto ungreased baking sheets. 

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. I like them chewy so I usually do closer to 9 minutes.

Enjoy!  Not a usual blog post for Legs, but things so tasty must be shared.  

Good things come to those who wait...

The plane, the truck, and the diplomatic visas all came.  The snow was cleared, the sun was shining, and thinking-ahead-Legs brought plenty of cookies for an inter-country drive.  Pancho's brother hit a skunk on the way to get us the morning we moved but aside from the lingering smell, everything went as planned!

So here we are about a month and a half later still trying to get our heads on straight.  No matter what anyone ever tells you, moving to another country is hard work, even if it's just Canada!  There are very few posts in the Foreign Service that don't provide housing and this is one of them so our first monster task was to find a place to live.  The Vancouver rental market moves fast (as in people fighting to turn in rental applications with deposit checks in hand at the first showing of a unit) and we lost a few places due to the additional processes required by the Consulate but then we found a perfect condo, in a perfect location, with a perfect landlord who was willing to wait.

We moved two weeks ago in and slept on a blow-up mattress before the IKEA beds we ordered arrived and hopefully at the end of this week our shipment from India will bring us our couch, plates, bed sheets, pans, and everything else we need to make life work.  We have settled into our routines and are starting to love life in the city more each day.

This experience has been incredible both professionally and personally.  The professional culture of this post is completely different from what I've experienced thus far and the work I am doing here is the reason we joined the Foreign Service.  I feel passionate again about my career and supported by amazing leadership--levels of support equal to what I felt from leadership at FEMA and which I knew I'd be lucky to find again.  The bigger question is whether or not it is realistic to find subsequent assignments with a similar professional culture.  We found out that I will bid mid-level for our third tour which means that we will not have another directed assignment.  A group of Career Development Officers direct entry-level generalists to their first two posts and after that, officers apply for positions where they are interested in serving.  There is still a bid list that is released when it is our group's turn to bid but we get to put in applications and lobby for jobs we want in places we'd like to go.  This new process will help us end up in a place that is best for our family at this point in our lives and allow me to plan my career in order to progress in the organization.  We still have another year here before our bid list is released so for now it's time to just live in the moment and enjoy Vancouver.

Pancho, Thumper, and Flipper are all doing great.  Thumper recently spent his nap time wadding up toilet paper and stuffing it up his nose until it started to bleed a little and he escaped his room to get more tissue.  Pancho found him and had to use tweezers to get all the tissue out of his nose. Start of a new nose stuffing phase?  I sincerely hope not.

Flipper is close to rolling over and has developed quite the personality.  He prefers to be carried everywhere and makes it very clear when he is the slightest bit uncomfortable.  He has also started to giggle which makes us all smile.

Pancho is officially our Relocation Support Specialist and is the most amazing husband and father I could ever have imagined.  He even showed up outside my work with fresh flowers on Valentines Day and took me ice skating while Hippie Grandma was in town.

We just got back from our first hike and our first suspension bridge.  We went to the lesser-known but free Lee Canyon suspension bridge and hiked around some beautiful waterfalls.  The weather has been pretty rainy but spring is definitely here and the flowers are starting to bud!  Until next time...

Twin Falls at Lee Canyon

West End near Stanley Park

There's water everywhere in Vancouver!

Even the rocks are happy

The Waiting Game..or 'Just In Time' Traveling?

Thumper and I (Legs) went to the library tonight and the first book he picked was so incredibly appropriate, I just had to blog and write my own version.

Oh The Places You'll Go
Dr. Seuss

"You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting."

We have done more waiting in the last three months than I can remember doing in the last few years! After hours and hours of time spent getting things "in order," we still find ourselves waiting for things out of our control. On the eve of our supposed departure. So, I add this, Dr. Seuss:

Waiting for diplomatic visas to be done
Or a UPS plane to come
Or a delivery truck to load
Or the icy cold snow to be cleared from the road
Or housing to go through
Or to finally stop moving to a place that is new.
We are just waiting.

The few boxes we have are packed but we don't have our passports--they are en route from DC with our diplomatic visas. UPS overnight to arrive tomorrow, customer pick-up so we can get them quicker. Our housing can't be reserved until we have our visas in hand. Brother in-law is ready to help us move but only has the weekend. Post will change the reservation to Monday if the visas aren't here by noon tomorrow, but then we will have to leave all our things behind until someone can help. Maybe I can still fit the one pair of heels I found at Fred Meyer just today (from a selection of eight size nine women's shoes) in our car next to the two suits I bought the day we drove two hours to a mall only to have the trip cut short by the need to complete more *urgent* paperwork. Thanks to a Kinkos' printer and the copy shop's scanner.

So, if the winter storms across the nation don't affect the arrival of our visas, if post can change our housing to take us Friday or Saturday, and if there are no problems between, then we are moving tomorrow morning. But we are tired of waiting and wandering and I can't put my clothes in my suitcase yet for the sole reason that I like how it feels to have them hung in a closet and not knowing if we are leaving tomorrow, or next week, or never, makes me only a little crazy.

This is my rant. I hope to write from Vancouver tomorrow. And will eat more cookies and stare at my closet of clothes hanging nicely in hangers if our passports don't come.

Three months and a baby later

I thought our last blog post gave some meaning to the blog name, Drifting World Citizens, but it turns out the last three months have the cross-country road trip beat!

First I should finish where I left off in October. We left New Mexico the morning of the hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque and got to see hundreds of balloons scatter as the sun came up. We drove on to Arizona and headed south through an amazing mountain pass where we stopped just in time for Thumper to throw up all over Pancho! The drive ended at my good friend's home surrounded by cactus and wild horses. It was so fun to see such a welcoming face. After Coolidge, AZ we headed up to Kingman for a night of rest before our big Grand Canyon adventure!

Hot Air Balloon Festival
Albuquerque, NM

Beautiful pass through AZ

Real Cactus!!
Southern AZ

The Federal government, and thereby the national park at the Grand Canyon, was still shut down so we found our way to the Hualapai Indian Reservation and braved unseasonably cold weather to walk along the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. It was on my bucket list for a reason and we were not disappointed.

No caption necessary.  Amazing.

From the a Grand Canyon we traveled south again before heading north up to the Pacific Northwest for the last leg of our journey. We stopped to see good friends at Camp Pendleton and family outside of Oakland. I won Thumper a purple Halloween bear from a claw machine in a Denny's somewhere between California and Oregon, now his favorite long past the holiday, and we stayed with more family in Oregon. By this time Thumper and Pancho had had enough road trip...while pregnant Legs could have kept going for days! Thumper asked over and over when he could get out of the car and we told him once we get to Washington he could get out. The second we announced we had crossed the Columbia River, he yelled from the back seat, I can get out now!!! I want to get out!!

San Clemente, CA

Washington State at last!

We stopped to surprise my mother in Eastern Washington and then drove to our *final* destination. I can't begin to describe the relief we felt coming home. The last year has been a hard one for us and driving across open land with no timeline to arrive in the arms of friends and family has been healing in more ways than one.

Columbia River

Home.

Now, on to what we have been doing since October! We settled in for about a week and then took a bunch of small trips to visit more friends and family. Legs found a daytime water aerobics class full of old ladies who were beyond excited for baby. Thumper played in parks and was spoiled by many a grandparent. Pancho did a 21 mile day hike in trail shoes and too much snow at the Enchantment Lakes and hiked locally at least twice per week. We enjoyed the time we had just as a family of three until December 17th when Flipper made us an even happier family of four!

Flipper, you might ask? Yes. Big Foot sounds too mean although it is more accurate. Flipper was born with giant feet that extend into the text on his commemorative footprint certificate. He moves them just as much as Thumper did but has a hard time fitting into his age appropriate outfits because his feet are so long.

In the past few weeks we have stayed somewhere new every four days and after three months of 'drifting,' we cannot wait to settle into our temporary housing in Vancouver. Yes, temporary. It saves us from having to line up housing prior to our arrival and heck, three months in one place sounds like heaven even if we do have to move again at the end of it.

So, we live up to our blog name and have come full circle from where we left off two years ago. I just celebrated my oh-shit-I-turn-30-next-year birthday but I've got high hopes for 29. Our experiences this past year have made our little family stronger than ever and through some trial and error, we know what our boundaries are as they relate to work and life. What a ride!

Catfish, Hushpuppies, and Enchiladas--or how I can't find the ipad charger.

My intention was to blog each morning...but then the ipad battery died and I keep leaving the charger in a bag in the car at night!

Today we are in New Mexico, headed to Arizona.  Yesterday we stayed in Amarillo, TX, the day before in Oklahoma after driving through Arkansas.  I (Legs), tried catfish for the first time and had some amazing hushpuppies in Oklahoma (I thought of you Dad...they even offered me collard greens but I just couldn't take it that far).  I have been waiting to eat enchiladas until we hit Texas but our hotel in Amarillo had a nice dinner so we missed our chance in TX and made up for it in New Mexico.  However, they sent us to the best 'New Mexican' restaurant rather than the best 'Mexican' restaurant and it wasn't quite what I was looking for.  It was tasty, but it was definitely American-Mexican food.  Thumper figured out that we order things from the server and each time she came by our table he'd smile really big and say, "I want more water.  I want more milk."  We are still working on manners :-)

Thumper is also learning how to get what he wants...quickly.  When he feels he has been in the car long enough he will start by saying, "Not going in car too long mama?" and when I tell him that we have a few more hours to go he says, "I need a diaper change mama...I go poop mama" and then starts screaming until we pull over to discover that he just wanted to get out of the car.  He has been a trooper though and some days are a little better than others.  He has his own semi truck to play with and he really likes watching all the big rigs go by.  We stop at Pilot gas stations so he can stretch his legs and watch the trucks in the parking lot.  Depending on his mood, he cries when one he really likes gets back on the road, it's very sweet.

It has been amazing driving through the country.  The days can be long with a toddler, a dog, and a pregnant lady...but Pancho still manages to rub my back at night and we both enjoy talking all day as we drive through the open spaces we've been dreaming about.  So far, we feel like we could live in Albuquerque, Oklahoma City, or Hendersonville, NC---although, the further West we get the more at home we feel.

Tonight we will stay outside of Phoenix with an old college friend of mine who we can't wait to see!  We will stop for lunch with Pancho's Marine Corps buddy and his wife and then we are off to visit the Grand Canyon.  Don't think the government shutdown will stop us, we have a plan.  The Grand Canyon is not all National Park land, in fact, a good portion is on Native American land which is not closed.  SO, we are going to the Hualapai reservation to visit the Grand Canyon West and will spend two nights in the area so we can have a full day to take in nature and see our second of many wonders of the world (remember or trip to the Taj Mahal this spring)!

After the Grand Canyon we are off to Southern California to see the ocean (a wonder of the world in my opinion--I've been day dreaming of the ocean for almost two years now) and Pancho's best friend from High School.  They have a big family of their own and are still making space for our crew to stay the night.  We are so grateful to have such wonderful friends!

Once we hit the westernmost states we will head North...not quite sure where we will be stopping along the way other than my wonderful cousin's house near Sacramento.  Just about one more week of road trip before we get to settle back into small town life and get ready for another baby!

As Pancho says, 'happy travels!'

Road Trip!

We left DC and somehow managed to fit everything in our car for our next big adventure! On day one we made it to North Carolina and stayed with my wonderful aunt and uncle who welcomed our crew with open arms and BBQ. We got to visit and enjoy coffee in rocking chairs on the porch looking out at trees and listening to crickets. Thumper ran free in the grass and played with every new toy he could find--he even got to pick one out to take with on the trip. It was so nice to see family, the first family we have seen in nine months, and we are grateful for their love and extreme hospitality! The next day we headed onward to Tennessee and stopped a little before Nashville. We gained an hour from Central time and tried to visit a state park (yes, those are still open!), but we got there three minutes before closing time and had to settle for subway and TV. The countryside here is beautiful and we saw the most amazing sunset over the corn fields last night.

In other news, I got in to see a doctor before we left DC and everything is going well! We will do a growth scan once we get settled in WA and I continue to monitor my blood sugars. It was a very reassuring visit and I was happy to be asked those follow up questions when I mentioned frequent Braxton hicks and lower back pain...in India I was told to lift with my knees, not my back, instead of say, trying to rule out pre-term labor :)

Pancho is still hoping to run an ultra marathon this fall (anything bigger than 26.2miles) and has been running each morning we have been back...which gives me time to blog before Thumper opens his eyes! Maybe this trip will be better documented than the last...stay tuned!

Back in the US

So, it has been a while and a whole lot has happened!  Due to medical reasons we left Hyderabad for good. It was a very hard decision and a long and stressful process once we made the decision. With no formal onward assignment, they landed us in DC for a few weeks before we head home and start maternity leave. We don't know where we are going next but are looking forward to some time to just be a family and get the medical care we need. The trip home was a grand 42 hours complete with pet complications but we made it! There were many things we were looking forward to in the US (and we have surely been taking advantage of since our return) but we have found ourselves unexpectedly dealing with reverse culture shock. It is neither good nor bad but it leaves me, legs, feeling a little lost in the world.

We decided to buy a car and road trip home--this time we will go South. I don't think anyone, in any culture, enjoys the car buying process! We survived and came out with a Subaru that looks just like our old Hyundai but with four doors; the Hyundai we drove from West to East, along the Northern route, when we started this adventure almost two years ago. I've had a few breakdowns since being back, for a variety of reasons--mostly that we have been struggling for a few months now and I just keep getting more pregnant which doesn't make any of it easier to deal with--and Pancho bought me a prenatal massage, took me and Thumper to a French bistro for lunch, and went with me to pick out a few new fall sweaters. I sure am lucky.

I am hoping to see a doctor before we start our road trip but not having an address, state of residence, onward assignment, or actual medical records from India, it is challenging to set these things up!  We aren't sure when we are going to start our trip but hopefully it will be this week...pending the government shutdown decision.

Thumper is a whole new little boy being able to run free in the grass, ride the metro, and go outside without being touched or photographed. He gets excited each time an airplane goes by and keeps asking to walk to the local fire station. It looks like a trip to Gravelly Point Park is in order this evening!

Making a Babies R Us registry again and trying to decide on a color of Ergo baby carrier makes me happy in the short term and seeing the rest of the country with just my little family in our new car promises to be healing. The Grand Canyon is on my bucket list!

India, it's not you, it's me...

This post has been a long time coming.  No, we are not breaking up with India.  In fact, we are apologizing and starting a fresh relationship.

See, the truth is, while India has definitely been an adjustment, the problem isn't the country or the people.  I, legs, have realized that there are other factors about my job that have really affected our morale at post.  Recognizing that the organizational culture might or might not fit our family's needs has been very hard--particularly because of how much time and effort I put in to get here.  It doesn't mean that we want to leave, it just means that we are finding our selves particularly introspective trying to identify what is important to us right now and how we can get our needs met while pursuing this career.  Either way, in the end, it's not you, India, it's me and I'm sorry.

India is different but it is truly incredible.  Once you find your place in Hyderabad the city becomes that much more familiar.  I drive just about anywhere now and that freedom has been huge for us.  Yesterday, we ran errands all over the city and it was *almost* like any other weekend in the States.  I posted a while back about our relationship with our driver and yesterday he invited us to spend a very special holiday with his joint family in their home.  It was that much more special for us after really starting over with India.  Again, we are reminded why we wanted to live this life despite the challenges.  The only question in the next few years is whether or not the culture of the agency is a good fit for us.  But isn't that the question everywhere we work?

Mehindi done at the Eid festival by our friend's nieces...I was surrounded by women, all of us sitting on the floor in saris or kurtas, little kids watching intently as the girls did both of my hands...lots of giggling...amazing.

Well, We're Back in India

Our recent trip to Bankok was, quite simply, amazing!  We went out to some wonderful restaurants, ate incredible street food, enjoyed massages nearly every day for around $10/hr, toured exquisite Buddhist temples, and took in the scenery along a never ending expanse of canals from long tail boats.  Thailand was a remarkable mixture of rugged, cultural experiences and beautiful upscale living.  The Thai people were very friendly, and helped to make our stay a memorable one.

We stayed on the 55th floor at the Lebua Tower hotel, which just so happens to be the hotel at which The Hangover 2 was filmed.  The staff was completely over the top nice, and they all loved to interact with Thumper.  It wasn't long before he was saying, "Kap kun krap!" and "Sawatdee krap!" which is thank you, and hello/goodbye, respectively, for a male speaker in Thai.  We arranged a date night, using a baby sitter provided by the hotel, and Legs and I got to enjoy a fabulous dinner on the 52 floor outdoor restaurant.  The view from our table of Bangkok and the river was breathtaking.

All of that relaxation and adventurous traveler spirit was soon smashed to pieces when we returned to good ol' Hyderabad.  The other day I had taken Thumper to a birthday party for one of his classmates, and I was surprised to see a quaint little outdoor setting of straw bales, large paper mache animals, and more toddler toys than I could count.  I thought, "This looks like my kind of birthday party."  However, it seems like always is the case, India manages to come so close to awesome, and then someone said, "Meh, this'll do."

As Thumper ran around playing, I realized that not all of the animals were fake.  There, terrified for their lives, caught in a gaggle of screaming toddlers were three live chickens, each with about a 4 foot length of ribbon tied around one leg.  Kids were grabbing the 'leashes' and tugging, yanking, and swinging the chickens around as they pleased.  The kids were laughing hysterically, the parents smiled in amusement, and some of the nannies even got in on the fun.  I just couldn't bring myself to understand how no one there cared about what they were doing to those poor little animals.  Even Thumper looked upset at seeing the chickens so clearly distressed.

After leaving the party we were stopped at an intersection and I heard a loud thumping on the car door.  I looked over to see an older man hitting our car with a stick.  I looked at him trying to convey with my facial expression that I'd like him to stop, and he held out his hand asking for money.  I shook my head no; however, I'm not really sure if it was in disbelief that this was his strategy for getting money, or if I was genuinely telling him, "No, not today sir."  I looked at our driver, both of us shared a light chuckle, and then back at the intersection only to hear the banging again.  This time I tried to put on my mean face and shook my head no again, but he just put out his hand and gave me the same deer-in-the-headlights look.  As soon as I looked away again, there was the banging on the door.  This time I skipped the mean face and got out of the car, snatched the stick from his hands, and threw it out into the intersection.  Without a word, I got back in the car, the police officer in the intersection directing traffic waved us on, and we drove away.

Happy Travels!

Pancho

Bad Words and Chocolate

Not much has happened in the couple of weeks since we returned from Singapore except for a few parenthood moments that are definitely worth sharing.  Oh and the fumigation that happens every week, only now we have pictures.

Every so often we go to a nearby handicraft store to pick up some hand made souvenirs and enjoy chatting with the family who owns the store.  They recognize our car and wave when we pass on our way to other places during the week.  We stopped by last weekend and had Thumper with us for the first time.  The three of us were pursuing the items on the first floor when Thumper and I caught a glimpse of a backroom full of beautiful jewelry.  We wandered back and the gentleman working at the counter invited Thumper to sit on the glass case and play with a calculator.  Thumper was having a blast and the man told me I could go upstairs to shop if I'd like and he and another gentleman would watch Thumper.  Since Pancho was in eyesight I agreed, told Pancho I was headed upstairs, and went to go look at all of the gorgeous scarves, embroidered fabric, and carpets.  Upstairs, I met a man who had questions about travel to the United States and I happily provided information about the visa application process and requirements for non-immigrant travel to the U.S.  Not more than 15 minutes had passed before I returned back downstairs to a smiling face covered in chocolate.  I asked Pancho what happened and he nonchalantly told me they had give Thumper some chocolate.  Okay, fine, I thought.  Thumper has had chocolate before and he often gets a treat after dinner.  A treat the size of one jelly candy, or half of a banana muffin, two bites of ice cream...you get the gist.  I went to go wipe off his face and he said, "mama, chocolate all done!  More!!" just as the second gentleman returned with a full size chocolate bar from the store next door.  I realized that my not yet two year old son had just been given an entire adult-sized chocolate bar, consumed it in 15 minutes, and been offered a second approximately 20 minutes before nap time.  One of those moments that's funny, but only for a few hours, it's not funny anymore when nap time doesn't happen and you have dinner plans!

This weekend Thumper is off chocolate and convinced that fresh fruit is a treat.  I think we've made progress.  This morning the three of us were sitting in the living room waking up, Pancho and I with a little coffee, Thumper with a little milk.  Thumper was riding his bike all around talking about how he wants to name his baby brother or sister, "Orange," while Pancho and I were talking about life.  Pancho blurted out a "holy shit" in response to something I said and all of a sudden, just two weeks before his second birthday, our little sponge continues his bike ride yelling, "holy shiiiiit, holy shiiiiit, holy COW, holy shiiiit mama hahahahaha!"  So, of course we started laughing which only made him do it more.  We had our first talk about bad words and how daddy should have said "holy cow" and it appears as though he's forgotten the curse word for now.  Or he's just waiting to use it again :-)

Now, unrelated to parenting (mostly), I will leave you with a picture of what it looks like after two guys with shop vacs stroll through the courtyards of a building on their weekly mission to keep the bugs away.  This happens at restaurants, through the streets at times, and with less fog it happens on the airplane upon landing.  At least we feel more protected against Malaria and Dengue?

Singapore Part 2

A few funny highlights from Legs...

Our flight left Hyderabad at 11PM and arrived in Singapore at 6:15AM the next day...we both thought Thumper would sleep the whole way but he sure didn't!  During take off and landing he yelled, "Pilots driving TOO fast!"

Thank goodness the hotel let us check in early and we all crashed until the afternoon.  Like Pancho mentioned, we had our fair share of Starbucks, and with a good nap and some caffeine we set off to the Botanic Gardens.  We waited for green crossing lights, saw no burning trash, weren't concerned about being hit by a car, auto rickshaw, motorcycle, or cow, and headed straight for a big lake with lots of fish and turtles (see pictures from Pancho's post).  Pancho left out my favorite picture of an intersection in Singapore...note the differences.

Singapore

Hyderabad

We got to the lake and Thumper couldn't take his eyes off all the kids throwing bread to the fish and turtles.  Except I don't think he understood that they were throwing bread and he immediately took off his sunglasses and threw them in the lake.  They sank to the bottom and he frowned and said, "mama, glasses?"  But, losing his glasses did not deter him and at the next lake he promptly threw in his plastic construction toy; however, this item floated and Pancho did some crazy acrobatics to retrieve it from the pond.

The purpose of our trip was for medical care and to quote the Zac Brown Band, "There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know."  The facility was clean, the doctor was amazing, people listened to me and didn't just talk to Pancho, I had all of my questions answered, it wasn't invasive, and we got to see our little baby moving around on the ultrasound screen as a whole family.  The doctor even printed Thumper his own picture of the baby which he immediately put up to my stomach and said, "mama, baby sister!" To be clear, we don't know the gender yet but Thumper keeps saying "girl" and "baby sister" whenever we ask him what he thinks :-)

We returned to India refreshed on so many different levels.  Pancho speaks for the both of us about the new perspective we gained from this experience.  Singapore made us realize that the world is a big place...some places we will like, some we won't, but they aren't all good and they aren't all bad.  The great thing about this job is that you get to try something new every two years.  We have learned so much about ourselves and our family through this experience in India and we look forward to taking all of those lessons to heart when we bid for our next post.  I'm sure at our next post we will continue to learn and ultimately that's why we joined the Foreign Service...to learn about ourselves and to learn about others.

There are hard times when we miss family and familiarity of Western culture.  I broke down in tears the last time I left the doctor's office here after I had been walked in on twice while getting blood drawn...It wasn't that I didn't have privacy, it was that the other patients came in just to stare at me and they didn't leave until they were forcefully asked to do so.  Combined with everything else that had happened at the doctor visit I left with tears streaming.  I got to the car and our driver asked me what happened.  He listened and reassured me.  When we got out of the car he said, "You know you can ALWAYS take me with you to any appointment, you are not alone here...you are my sister."  I have never felt so comforted by someone I've known for such little time.  He is one of our best friends here and he is the reason why we chose this life.